Category Archives: Depression

“I Choose to Trust…”

From my journal for September 1994 and first posted in December 2022: And finally I came to see (again again) that this miserable wimp is herself my task, this person who is so sensitive and precariously balanced, who can’t even … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on “I Choose to Trust…”

1996: Grief About Neglect When I was a Baby

From my journal for February 2, 1996 I spent most of my session with Karen crying.  I told her about the awful pain I woke with Tuesday morning and how everything that I could hold on to had disappeared.  I … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Grief About Neglect When I was a Baby

1996: First Hint of Early Trauma

These notes are from my journal for January 30, 1996.  I’ve clearly had a very bad night. I haven’t been able to find the previous notebook, so I don’t know what else I might have said. But my reference to … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: First Hint of Early Trauma

“Thinking Makes it So”?

This is from The Art of Stillness, by Pico Iyer As Marcus Aurelius reminded us more than two Millennia ago, it’s not our experiences that form us but the ways in which you respond to them; a hurricane sweeps through … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on “Thinking Makes it So”?

Rescuing the Baby on the Garbage Can

from my journal for December 9 Erica said my system is so open that the moment I unbend, and see the part as separate from me, I offer a hug and the exile runs into my arms.  All my life … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Healing, Journal, Trauma, Work with parts | Comments Off on Rescuing the Baby on the Garbage Can

Knee Trouble — Last Straw

My knee first started to hurt on December 20.  I have no idea what caused it. It started with some really bad jabs of pain. The pain was in the muscles in the back of the knee. Walking without bending … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Knee Trouble — Last Straw

1996: Early Thoughts on “Trauma”

From my journal for January 10, 1996 Visit to Hart, the naturopath.  I told her that I was struggling with depression. …  We talked about suicide a little, I said I felt even about that “it won’t do any good.”  … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Early Thoughts on “Trauma”

1996: Not a “New” Year

From my journal for January 1, 1996 I’ve never felt less like a new year.  All the hoorah that people make, the parties, Times Square, etc seems so silly, so feeble.  People going through the motions of newness (new year’s … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Journal | Comments Off on 1996: Not a “New” Year

1995: Permanent, Pervasive, Personal

Seligman talks about the pessimistic worldview which sees that problems are “permanent, pervasive, and personal,” and describes the “ABC technique” for dealing with each element one by one. From my journal for December 21, 1995 I had a bad night … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1995: Permanent, Pervasive, Personal

1995: Pessimistic World View

From my journal for December 20, 1995 Seligman [the author of The Optimistic Child] suggests that people are able to deal with setbacks in a more optimistic way if they are living for something bigger than themselves.  In the past, … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1995: Pessimistic World View