Category Archives: Depression

“Shelter in Place”

Because of COVID-19, I am getting scared on a regular basis.  If I can find either my grief or my gratitude it will help dissolve the fear.  But it’s a wild ride.  I also have been getting together with my … Continue reading

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Acceptance of Pain

from my journal for July 23, 1976: amazing! miraculous! out of the depression and into an energy high. am weaving a finn weave project (tough going) that has been on the loom since Easter. Yesterday the weather broke and my mood did … Continue reading

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Another Complete Cycle

Went through another complete cycle on Tuesday.  Daily Kos ran a story about how Trump has been minimizing the COVID danger.  He cares about the stock market more than people.  It showed his statements about “everything is fine” correlating with … Continue reading

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The Demon’s Mirror

From my journal: Wednesday, March 4 I’m feeling very sad and very lonely. Grief group was painful. Talked to Erica about how despairing I was feeling about what’s going on in the world.  She was supportive, did not try to … Continue reading

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Creativity and Mental Illness

Writing my journal this morning, I struggled with scattered thoughts, lots of odd, confused ideas.  Then the universe connected me with an interesting piece of information.  It was on Brainpickings, by Maria Popova. She quotes Nancy Andreasen’s book The Creating … Continue reading

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The Practice of Self-love

(Written in February 2003 and posted April 25, 2010) Yesterday I was thinking that I had this wonderful new technique for transforming my life, that my relationship with terror and despair is completely different.  Well, actually that’s still true.  Just … Continue reading

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Turnaround in the Pit

I’ve been feeling like a combination of the Dan Siegel material, the diagnosis of macular degeneration, and reading my early journals brought me to a place where I feel beyond redemption.  I think of this as the Pit, a deep … Continue reading

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Spending Time at the Bottom of the Pit

Friday morning, November 29, I watched a Dan Siegel talk on “Presence, Parenting, and Planet.”  It was great.  It was easy to see why I’ve had such a struggle.  Neither Mom nor Dad was capable of being present.  I was … Continue reading

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Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving, and I was thinking how I’m thankful for so many things, but I’m not feeling gratitude for the headache I woke up with, or for the trouble with my eyes.  It reminds me of a letter to … Continue reading

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Looking at Jenny from Outside

I have been struggling with the question of whether I “love” life.  It’s something Stephen Jenkinson talks about, something that can become very strong when you realize that you are really going to die.  I hear people say they love … Continue reading

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