Category Archives: Depression

Dark Night of the Soul, Again

Saturday, August 3 3rd cup of tea.  When I went out to walk Mocha, my legs felt very weak.  I decided I needed grounding, so tried to feel my legs and my feet contacting the earth.  Mocha went down the … Continue reading

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The Pain/Grief Underneath

Pulled out of that dead place quickly, Thank You! First thing that helped was telling my friend Elizabeth.  She made sympathetic noises and told me she loved me, always much more helpful than making suggestions for how to get out. … Continue reading

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Another Sojourn in the Pit

Journal for Thursday, August 1 3rd cup of tea:  It was beautiful outside when I walked Mocha, cool, sunny, sparkling.  But I could not experience it.  This mood doesn’t have the weight of depression, it’s more a sense of why … Continue reading

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“A time when you didn’t even guess that you were happy…”

I have been happy for days.  Something so unusual I can remember the times it happened in the past.  Winter Solstice at Stanstead.  Driving back from the first session of Writers for Recovery.  Seeing the chickadees coming to the feeder … Continue reading

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The Story of My Name

I wrote this recently in a writing group: I was named Jean for my mother, but they called me “Jenny” to differentiate me from my mother who was called “Pidge.”  I was told that “Jenny” had come from a great-great … Continue reading

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Don’t Want to Live

Originally posted on September 23, 2011 (Written in June 2004) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I’m having a pretty bad time.  I wanted to die this morning — I’m just sick & tired of being Jenny — she’s too much … Continue reading

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Wanting to Live my “Big Life”

This was originally posted on September 16, 2011.  It’s such a good analysis of my typical breakdown.  It was also a little shocking to find a relatively serious breakdown in 2003.  I always think of the one in 2008, and … Continue reading

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Guidance

(Written in January 2008) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I’m feeling sad and discouraged: about the losses of my life, about the state of the world, about my lack of energy that keeps me from taking action to support the … Continue reading

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Grieving

I posted this on June 2010.  I’ve been going back and reading my blog from the beginning. This one struck me as describing so well how I was ten years ago.  So I’m posting it again. (Written in June 2009) I’m … Continue reading

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Depression in Reaction to Feeling Good

This was originally posted on June 1, 2015.  I wrote the first paragraph to share with other people struggling with PTSD.  I’ve been going back and reading older posts and finding them comforting and validating.  This one resonated because I … Continue reading

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