Category Archives: Somatic Experiencing

Issue of Control

July 10 Fear came up.  The cold vibration in my diaphragm.  It didn’t fade so I stayed with it.  Tried to meditate — actually maybe I did finally hold on to the lovingkindness prayer for myself.  Somewhere along the way … Continue reading

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Working with Uncomfortable Physical Sensations

The situation: I bought a car for my friend Eleanor, because the one she was driving has bad brakes that may go anytime.  I am also in the final stages of applying to Kendal, a retirement community that will provide … Continue reading

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Emptiness

I haven’t been able to post anything for quite a while.  Bella’s death opened up the huge abyss of abandonment. The session with Caryn was tough.  I started in my corner and crying.  I wanted to ask her what was … Continue reading

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Ten Years — Forty Years

I wrote a journal piece 10 years ago, on my effort to understand which stories work for me and which don’t.  I posted it as “Choices & Dysfunctional Beliefs.”  It’s painful to me that I’ve been struggling with PTSD for … Continue reading

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It Gets Harder

My heart hurts.  Grieving for Bella has gotten harder.  Thursday I was depressed.  Friday I started the day feeling totally empty, feeling like Bella had never lived.  I couldn’t remember what she looked like.  I couldn’t feel her spirit. Then … Continue reading

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Bodhisattva Vow

Written in July 2009 I can’t remember the session with Caryn very well.  I went back to my corner and told her how I had gotten “too big” and needed to pull back.  I had brought the doll I had … Continue reading

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Resource Notebook

I mentioned my “Resource notebook” in a previous post.  In Somatic Experiencing a “resource” is a place in your body that feels more comfortable, more centered, more solid.  A resource can also be something that, when you think of it, … Continue reading

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In Pieces

Broken in a pile on your bedroom floor is a state I know well.  I recently read a story by Julie Peters in the Elephant Journal.  It’s a great piece about a little known Hindu Goddess whose name is Akhilandeshvari.  … Continue reading

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Somatic Experiencing

(Written in May 2005) The work with Brad was pendulating between the cold grey frozen place, and the colorful place filled with life.  I described the “World of Diversity” and Brad said I had brought it out of all the … Continue reading

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Dealing with Rejection

(Written in October 2005) This morning I woke up with an ache in my heart and realized I was angry with myself for not being beautiful.  Then my heart went out to me, and that helped a lot. DAMMIT! Somewhere, … Continue reading

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