Category Archives: Healing

Really Doing OK Just as I Am

Tuesday, January 1 This morning I was thinking about a conversation with God, where I asked what I needed to do to fulfill “His” will, and God said “You’re doing fine just as you are,” and I said “No, I want … Continue reading

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Perspective on the Past

I went back and started reading my journal for 2018.  Found a lot that was very interesting. June 16, 2018 The talk with Erica was good. I have been really puzzling over why other people see what I am doing as … Continue reading

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Process of Understanding What I’m up Against

This is what I wrote in my journal this morning.  It shows how I actually use writing to understand myself better.  This process began with a realization that “I’ve had the sense that reading thrillers addictively was in an attempt … Continue reading

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Vocation

I wondered yesterday if the effort to heal from PTSD could itself be a vocation.  That my work to heal myself is significant and meaningful.  That the point is not to be healed, and then to do what would be … Continue reading

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Identity Confusion/Conflict (for lack of a better title)

Friday, June 8 Don’t know how to start.  So odd.  I read what I wrote down that Elizabeth said in our phone conversation — “Identity in flux” — yes that’s exactly my experience. “Attachment repair” — homies seeking to “re-identify”  … Continue reading

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Spirituality

“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion.  Practicing … Continue reading

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Extraordinary Ease with my Life…. Really?

Excerpts from journal written during the week at the end of February: Sunday: Woke up not sure where I was.  I think from a very intense dream.  Feeling very lost. Monday:   Had that strange isolated feeling when I woke … Continue reading

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Spasm of Self-hate

This is an example of how I work through something in my journal.  It took several days and then some of the realizations only happened while I was typing it up a month later.  These are in italics. February 7 … Continue reading

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Struggle between Old Ways and New

Wednesday, February 21 Feeling really sick.  Sore throat and very tired.  It felt OK to lie in bed this morning.  It may be that Erica saying I’m beyond the end of my resources gave me permission to collapse. Session with … Continue reading

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Joy

Journal entry for Wednesday, March 7: I was happy yesterday and the day before.  Reasonless happiness.  I’m not sure when I even noticed it.  I told Erica about it and she said “What’s that like?”  I had trouble finding words.  … Continue reading

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