Category Archives: Trauma

Perspective on the Past

I went back and started reading my journal for 2018.  Found a lot that was very interesting. June 16, 2018 The talk with Erica was good. I have been really puzzling over why other people see what I am doing as … Continue reading

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“Should” versus My Inner Knowing

From my journal for June 17, 1993 Trajectory broken again. My flight of the last couple of days ends in a crash. Once again feeling anxious and scared, wanting to hide. I retreated into typing my journals, and the first glider plane went … Continue reading

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Past Terror

I posted a piece on a week of terror which happened in June & July,  2016.  I think that was the last time I had that much terror.  Part of it was plans for going to California for a workshop … Continue reading

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Ereshkigal

This was originally written in 1993.  I posted it to this blog on June 30, 2012.  I have recently been going back and reading old posts, and mostly liking them very much.  I do this randomly, or start from a … Continue reading

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Being Stuck in a Process

“Being stuck in a process” reminds me of a pattern Dr. Rankin discovered.  I had started therapy with her in St. Johnsbury, Vermont, in 1997.  She was a specialist in mood disorders.  I had been seeing her for several months.  … Continue reading

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Depression in Reaction to Feeling Good

This was originally posted on June 1, 2015.  I wrote the first paragraph to share with other people struggling with PTSD.  I’ve been going back and reading older posts and finding them comforting and validating.  This one resonated because I … Continue reading

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“Bombed-Out Village”

Wednesday, November 21 Thinking about talking with Erica about starting to tolerate — and even enjoy — the ordinary.  For most of my life I was in too much psychic pain, I needed something fairly intense to hold my attention.  … Continue reading

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“Shell Shock”

Wednesday, November 14 My talk with Erica was really pretty amazing.  She was absolutely delighted that I was really beginning to let myself rest.  She said she had felt so protective of me at the beginning because I didn’t seem … Continue reading

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Attachment Trauma

I usually type up my journal a month later.  Yesterday I typed this.  One of the things I’ve been learning in the work with Erica is how deep the trauma goes.  This description of feeling so alone and disconnected is … Continue reading

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Running on Fumes

From my journal for September 26 I was so tired yesterday I didn’t do much of anything.  I did take a short nap, went to meditation, walked Mocha in the rain.  I had planned to do things like call the … Continue reading

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