Category Archives: Trauma

Early Writings

Friday, September 27 Forgot to write that yesterday, in the middle of everything else — or maybe it was the day before — I got out some of my journal binders and started reading from the very first pieces.  I … Continue reading

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Needing to make things safe for the baby

From my journal for September 23 Thinking about trying to tell my insistent friend why I can’t just switch to eating Vegan when I agree that it’s best for the planet, best for the animals.  I’ve been struggling to understand … Continue reading

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There is no Planet B

3rd cup.  I see that the killing of the planet is what’s making looking at my own life and death be more meaningful than struggling to get my taxes done.  It makes everything I have to do to keep going … Continue reading

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Regrets

Gregory Hoskins: I’m gonna take a little walk through them fields, I’m gonna carry me gently so my heart can heal I’m gonna find me a demon, in a dark dark wood You can’t come with me. I wish you … Continue reading

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Struggle and Confusion

I have been having a very hard time for the last couple of weeks.  I got Stephen Jenkinson’s book Die Wise, and have been reading it slowly.  A lot of thought-provoking ideas.  I think I started to go down when … Continue reading

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Looking Straight at the Ending of my Life

My friend Elizabeth sent me a link to a talk by Stephen Jenkinson.  It didn’t do much for me, so I didn’t follow it up.  More recently she sent me a link to a short film about Nights of Grief … Continue reading

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Developmental Trauma Disorder

In working on a previous post about developmental trauma disorder, I came across this paper by Bessel van der Kolk, who I consider the world’s foremost expert in trauma.  Therapists who work with traumatized people have been trying to get “developmental … Continue reading

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The Arctic is Burning, the Amazon is Burning

I spent some time last week being totally freaked out about global warming.  Through some synchronicities (see previous post) I was helped to understand how it related to my childhood trauma of being abandoned by my mother.  The panic subsided, … Continue reading

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Struggle to understand why I’ve been so freaked out…

I haven’t posted for a while because I’ve been having a very hard time.  The usual brain not working, often feeling shaky and weak, feeling burdened by so many unresolved things, unable to think what to do next, finding it … Continue reading

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Gaslighting, Again

This actually starts with me being caught by a scam.  It involved an email from a woman I know slightly here at Kendal.  It involved a request to buy 3 $100 iTunes for her grandson.  I said I really couldn’t … Continue reading

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