Category Archives: Present Day

Reframe

more from my journal for Tuesday, October 16 I read some more in Krista Tippett’s book.  It is so amazing.  A lot of it feels totally beyond my poor brain at the moment.  Maybe because so much of it is … Continue reading

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Good for me!

I typed all that up and made a draft of a blog post.  It took me all day.  I added a part about early trauma affecting the development of the brain, how that makes it harder to heal.  When I … Continue reading

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Struggle with Feelings of Failure

from my journal for Monday, October 15 I am having a really hard time.  I had planned to pick up my meds between 8-9AM.  I got up at 7, so tired, so hard to get out of bed.  Did usual … Continue reading

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“I cried and cried and nobody came…”

I finally figured out why I have been so triggered.  I was molested by my father at age 12 and raped by a date at age 17.  I never told anyone, until very recently, and I’ve never had anyone tell … Continue reading

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Fighting Against Being a Triggered Basket Case

I’m having a really hard time today.  I watched part of a video of “Man Enough” — I think the men who are speaking, about their own complicity in abuse of women, are great.  But there were also clips from … Continue reading

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Gaslighting

Noticing how badly I am doing — on Monday, struggling to deal with practical matters, I wrote this in my journal: Right now I’m feeling totally blank, like my brain is full of kapok. The angry phone messages from B … Continue reading

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Badly Triggered

I was badly triggered by all the news about Kavanaugh and the abuse that was being denied.  Saturday I talked to someone I have a business relationship with, and she told me something that involved a dear friend, something about … Continue reading

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Profoundly Discouraged

from my journal for Saturday, September 8 In my session with Erica we didn’t talk much — I didn’t have a lot to say.  I told her about the odd blank times — how sometimes it was a relief, and … Continue reading

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Wanting to Die

From my journal for Tuesday, July 31 Feeling pretty lost.  Still very tired.  Woke up OK, but then started thinking uncomfortable thoughts.  Thought about — of all things — that detox foot bath that will probably not find a good … Continue reading

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Seeing my Life as a Task

From my journal for Monday, July 30: In Franconia.  I look around my house and see things that need to be dealt with and my heart hurts.  Why would my heart hurt when I see something that needs to be … Continue reading

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