Category Archives: Present Day

Looking Straight at the Ending of my Life

My friend Elizabeth sent me a link to a talk by Stephen Jenkinson.  It didn’t do much for me, so I didn’t follow it up.  More recently she sent me a link to a short film about Nights of Grief … Continue reading

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Developmental Trauma Disorder

In working on a previous post about developmental trauma disorder, I came across this paper by Bessel van der Kolk, who I consider the world’s foremost expert in trauma.  Therapists who work with traumatized people have been trying to get “developmental … Continue reading

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The Arctic is Burning, the Amazon is Burning

I spent some time last week being totally freaked out about global warming.  Through some synchronicities (see previous post) I was helped to understand how it related to my childhood trauma of being abandoned by my mother.  The panic subsided, … Continue reading

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Struggle to understand why I’ve been so freaked out…

I haven’t posted for a while because I’ve been having a very hard time.  The usual brain not working, often feeling shaky and weak, feeling burdened by so many unresolved things, unable to think what to do next, finding it … Continue reading

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Gaslighting, Again

This actually starts with me being caught by a scam.  It involved an email from a woman I know slightly here at Kendal.  It involved a request to buy 3 $100 iTunes for her grandson.  I said I really couldn’t … Continue reading

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Dark Night of the Soul, Again

Saturday, August 3 3rd cup of tea.  When I went out to walk Mocha, my legs felt very weak.  I decided I needed grounding, so tried to feel my legs and my feet contacting the earth.  Mocha went down the … Continue reading

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The Pain/Grief Underneath

Pulled out of that dead place quickly, Thank You! First thing that helped was telling my friend Elizabeth.  She made sympathetic noises and told me she loved me, always much more helpful than making suggestions for how to get out. … Continue reading

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Another Sojourn in the Pit

Journal for Thursday, August 1 3rd cup of tea:  It was beautiful outside when I walked Mocha, cool, sunny, sparkling.  But I could not experience it.  This mood doesn’t have the weight of depression, it’s more a sense of why … Continue reading

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3rd Cup of Tea

This 3rd cup writing illustrates another principle I use in my life:  I take a lot of things that happen as signs from the universe or spirit or whoever.  For example, if I’m thinking something particular and a bird lands … Continue reading

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About 3rd Cup of Tea Writing

My usual morning routine is to make a cup of tea, write while drinking it, make a second and do the same.  Then I usually have a smoothie with fiber in it, feed the dog, get dressed, make my own … Continue reading

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