Category Archives: Breakdown

Anatomy of a Breakdown

I’ve been reading through my blog from the very beginning.  I am once again in the 12 year cycle, at a time when Jupiter in the sky is opposed Jupiter’s position when I was born.  Ever since 1972 I have … Continue reading

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Guidance from August 2008

(Written in August 2008 and originally posted on March 16, 2010) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, it’s been a very stressful time, and I feel totally out of touch with Spirit.  Please help me. Dear Jenny, we love you.  Take … Continue reading

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Two Whole Weeks of Terror, February 1971

from my journal.  entries are undated.  A lot of this is in a post from January 2016 how calmly does the olive branch observe the sky begin to blanch without a cry, without a prayer with no betrayal of despair…  … Continue reading

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Wanting to Live my “Big Life”

This was originally posted on September 16, 2011.  It’s such a good analysis of my typical breakdown.  It was also a little shocking to find a relatively serious breakdown in 2003.  I always think of the one in 2008, and … Continue reading

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Identity Confusion/Conflict (for lack of a better title)

Friday, June 8 Don’t know how to start.  So odd.  I read what I wrote down that Elizabeth said in our phone conversation — “Identity in flux” — yes that’s exactly my experience. “Attachment repair” — homies seeking to “re-identify”  … Continue reading

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“…and it is trying desperately to flower…”

Written in Davis, California, at the time of my breakdown and hospitalization.    This poor tree is hanging at the edge of the abyss — its roots have no soil and are trying to press into crevices in the rock, … Continue reading

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50th Anniversary of Assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King jr.

My journal entry for April 4, 1968 I don’t know where to start.  It seemed as though the volcano was going to blow last night.  I wanted to smash a window or something — perhaps because of Dr. King’s death?  … Continue reading

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Feeling Unreal

I haven’t posted anything for a while.  My life has been very difficult: overwhelming, crazy-making.  There’s an earlier post about Feeling Unreal, so that’s been another part of this difficult summer.  I don’t even know how much sense this post … Continue reading

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Pattern of Overdoing and then Crashing

October 2003 Put on the Oratorium CD.  Sitting on the floor, moving with grief, pain in the heart, lack of hope — walking out into the desert with the fragments of a culture, knowing that it’s most likely I will … Continue reading

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May 1970

Yesterday I said to my therapist “I have the illusion that I’m not a loving person.”  O my.  Words that come out of my mouth like that are true.  So I have to really get it.  Reminded me that once, … Continue reading

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